Ladies…cover your eyes and ears. This one isn’t for you!
OK, guys. Now that we’re alone I want to FIRST give you a big
congrats for not only taking this step, but for researching how to find the
perfect engagement ring BEFORE you buy. This is most likely one of the most
important investments you’ll make (after a house or your future kids’ college
tuition), so you want to make sure you’ve got all your bases covered. Why?
Because chances are the love of your life has been dreaming about this piece of
jewelry for as long as she can remember (and you probably have to, in one way
or another!). And if she hasn’t and insists on NOT wearing an engagement ring,
well stop reading now and thank your lucky stars. Just kidding (kind of).
For those of you with future fiancée’s like me, I DID dream
of the perfect engagement ring and proposal since way before my first kiss
playing spin the bottle, so let me tell you: It’s a big deal! But, I’m here to
hopefully help take some of the pressure off.
I should also preface this guide by saying that all couples
have their own style of communicating, and this can apply to proposals and
engagement rings as well. For example, I’ll tell you that when it came to
buying my engagement ring, not all of the steps below happened. My husband
had my mom take me out to try on engagement rings “for fun,” and he chose my
engagement ring based on what I loved during that trip. While I didn’t know
WHEN the proposal was going to happen, I knew it was on the horizon
since we had talked about it, so I was very into the idea of having a
role in picking out my own engagement ring. But that’s just me! This is not
traditional at all, but it’s what worked for us. So, before you start any of
the steps below, just make sure you both are on the same page when it comes to
ring shopping.
So whether you’re looking for the engagement ring to be a
complete surprise or you’re going to be doing some (or all) of the planning for
it together, this guide will hopefully help you get an idea of what works for
you (and how to do it). And if you have any questions after reading this, don’t
hesitate to ask them in the comments section below. OK, let’s go!
Step 1: Figure Out Your Budget
The first thing you should know is that the old rule of “you
should spend 2 or 3 months salary on an engagement ring” is long gone. The
truth is you should spend what you can afford and feel comfortable with. For
some that might actually mean spending 6 weeks of their income.
Others might plan on dipping into their savings because they really want
to buy that $12,000 ring. Or you might find the perfect ring for less than $500
or not think twice about dropping more than $20,000. The bottom line is you
need to look at your bank account and spend what seems right for you and your
lifestyle.
TIP: You might also consider using a ring or diamond
that has been passed down from your relative or hers…in which case, we love
that idea AND it will potentially save you a ton of money).
Step 2: Stalk Pinterest…and Her Friends
Chances are your girlfriend has a Pinterest account. If
you’re like “WTF is Pinterest?” go here and setup an account, then search for your
girlfriend using her email or name. She may or may not have a wedding board
(don’t get freaked out…we all do it), and it may or may not be secret. If it
is, you’ll want to then reach out to her closest friend(s) to see if they can
see it or if they know what kind of style jewelry she loves. Remind them
that this is all on the DL, obvs. Another thing you’ll want to notice is if
most of her jewelry (and in particular her rings) is gold or silver. Platinum
and white gold engagement rings are the most popular these days, but gold is
still a definite option for many women (rose gold and yellow gold are even
becoming trendy again!)
Step 3: Narrow Down Her Style
Hopefully you were able to gather some good intel from her
friends, her Pinterest board, and her jewelry box. If not, there’s no need to
get nervous. Trust your judgement when it comes to picking out an engagement
ring she’ll love, and go with your gut. Has she talked about how much she likes
sapphires more than diamonds before? Or do you know that she’s a big fan of
vintage? Any subtle clues will help lead the way. But first, you’ll want to
read up on not only things like diamond cut, color, clarity, and carat
(the 4 c’s), but various setting styles, and how much you can expect to
pay. Or you might want to think about going in a completely different direction
and opting for a gemstone, instead.
Step 4: Find Out Her Ring Size
One of the trickiest parts of buying an engagement ring is
figuring out your girlfriend’s ring size (Heck. Even I just learned how to measure my ring size). So, here’s what I recommend:
Notice which ring (if any) she wears on her ring finger. If she does wear a
ring, take a piece of paper and pencil or pen when she’s in the shower and
trace the circumference of the inside AND outside of the ring. You’ll be able to
take that trace to a jeweler and they’ll be able to get a pretty good idea of
her size. If she doesn’t wear any rings, this is where it can get trickier.
Some say to ask her friends, but I personally don’t go around asking my friends
what their ring sizes are. One way you can get her friends to help out is if
one of them is already engaged or married, see if they can get her to try on
their ring. If it’s too small or too big or just the right size you can get a
general idea of what might fit your girlfriend. Just know that it’s much easier
to size down then size up, so you’re better off going with an engagement ring
size that is bigger rather than smaller.
Step 5: Start Shopping
Now, this is where some of you guys might differ (as I
talked about in the intro). Some couples choose to go shopping for an
engagement ring together (in which case Steps 1-4 won’t apply to you), and for
others this might be done exclusively by one partner (or both if you’re doing a
joint proposal!). Regardless of who’s doing the shopping, it always helps to
know where to start.
While there are so many great online options for buying an
engagement ring, I think it helps to go to a jeweler in person, first,
to talk about your budget, what style you’re looking for, etc. I would
definitely suggest asking family and friends for recommendations for jewelers
they love (for instance, my fiancé bought my engagement ring from a
jeweler my father has known since high school).
TIP: Now might also be a good time to ask your future
Father in Law for his daughter’s hand in marriage if you’re going the
traditional route!
Step 6: Decide (and Buy!)
Deeeeep breaths. This (might) hurt. Once you find the
engagement ring you love you’ll want to buy it in time for your wedding
proposal. Keep in mind that it can take 6-8 weeks in some cases to receive your
engagement ring, so plan accordingly. Once you buy the ring you’ll want to make
sure to get a detailed receipt from the jeweler (listing the cut, clarity,
carats, etc.), as well as a diamond grading report from an independent
gemological association like GIA (vintage
rings or rings under 1 carat may not have this available). Some jewelers are
also able to provide you with an appraisal for your ring for insurance purposes…which
leads me to my next point!
Step 7: Get it Insured!
I seriously can’t stress this enough. As soon as you buy the
engagement ring you should get it insured (especially if you’re going to be
traveling with it for the proposal). There are two ways you can do
this. If you have homeowners or renters insurance, call your insurance
company and have them add a jewelry rider to your policy. Or you can call a
jewelry insurance company (like Jewelers Mutual) and get a separate policy. You’ll
definitely need to show proof of purchase, and if the ring is worth more than
$5,000 you’ll need to show that appraisal, too.
Photo by Justin Lebon
Step 8: Plan the perfect moment
We’ll leave this for another story…
Now that we’ve walked you through the first steps for buying
an engagement ring…you have to let us know how it turns out! And again, if you
have any questions don’t hesitate to ask them, below.
Good luck!!