To put your raised eyebrow down, it’s because some things are better said in written form than spoken.
Anyway, weird things have been happening to me for the past couple of months ever since you started working at the same company I’m at. Thank goodness you’re in another department.
Every time I’m around you, millions of lumps clog my throat, making it difficult to utter a word. When I eventually muster the courage to greet you in the most awkward way possible, sweat flows from my palms like the overflowing Nile River and my heart thumps uncontrollably. I blame the elevated cortisol levels in my brain and the dopamine it pumps out.
You make me feel scared and excited all at once, and I have no idea how many times in a day I go to your social media profiles just to see you, even though I bump into you in the hallways and occasionally have small talk with you during lunch. I never obsess about anyone, but here I am – addicted to your pictures and posts like some psychopath. I wish my serotonin levels would be normal again so that I can function properly.
Let’s not even talk about how I’m struggling to fall asleep every night or how I drift off into day-dreams about you. I have endless thoughts of us having hot, passionate sex where you sometimes rip my clothes off and our sexual selves devour each other and other times, we make love, caressing and loving each other to the point of ecstasy.
I think about how awesome our lives would be if we were to be together. I’ve even named our children and found our perfect home where we would live happily ever after.
You’re like a weird drug that makes me feel a sense of euphoria, like an excited child on Christmas morning, and at the same time, I feel so depressed at the thought of not being with you and the possibility of you not feeling the same way I do.
Please don’t pay too much attention of the part I mentioned of us having kids and living happily ever after. I’m afraid it will scare you off. I was merely mentioning it so that when you see my eye-bags and high energy, you’ll associate it with my high levels of dopamine.
Okay, so that was a mouthful!
Anyway, the whole point of telling you this is to ask you out on a date.
I’d like to get to know you better, so would you like to do coffee with me?
I’d propose lunch but I might choke on food out of nervousness, not that drinking coffee lessens the likeliness of such an occurrence… Gosh, I digress.
So yea, let me know if you’re keen and we can choose a location