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| /Courtesy |
While it’s normal for relationships to feel stale after a
while, increasing your intimacy can make your relationship stronger and more
fulfilling. You can become more intimate with your partner by connecting with
them through communication, touch, and acts of kindness. Additionally, spend
more time with them to deepen your bond. If you want to improve your sex life,
talk about sex more often, and try new things in the bedroom.
Method 1: Connecting with Your Partner.
Tell your partner how you feel about them every day. It’s
easy to assume that your partner knows how you feel, but everyone has doubts.
Make a habit of sharing your feelings daily through spoken reminders and text
messages. This will help you and your partner maintain a close bond.
- For
instance, tell them you love them every time you part ways.
- Similarly, text them “Good morning my love” or check on them throughout the workday. You might text, “I love you! How’s your day going?”
Show affection through kissing, hugging, and holding
hands.
You might think of intimacy as having sex, but it also
includes things like kissing, hugging, and touching. When you’re with your
partner, kiss and hug them. Additionally, hold their hand, sit next to them,
and cuddle with them. This closeness will help deepen your bond.
- Make a
habit of hugging and kissing when you part ways and reunite.
- When
you’re watching TV, sit close to each other so your bodies are touching.
Express your gratitude for the nice things they do for
you.
It’s easy to overlook the favors or acts of kindness your
partner does for you. When they do something nice, recognize their actions and
tell them you appreciate them. Try to thank your partner for something every
day to grow your appreciation of them. This can help bring you closer together.
- For
instance, you might say things like, “Thank you so much for clearing the
table,” “Thank you for picking up the groceries so I had time to work
out,” or “I appreciate your help with dinner.”
Listen to your partner’s thoughts and feelings.
While physical intimacy is wonderful to have, emotional
intimacy is just as important for a strong relationship. To deepen your
emotional connection, listen to what your partner is going through. Ask them to
open up to you more, and paraphrase what they say back to you so they know you
listened. Encourage them to talk by saying things like, “Tell me how things
have been at work lately,” or “I’ve noticed you’ve been upset. Can we talk
about it?”
- Then,
paraphrase what they say with comments like, “It sounds like you’ve been
really stressed lately,” or “Are you saying that you’re worried we won’t
have enough money?”
Perform acts of kindness to show you care. Doing
kind things for your partner shows them that you’re thinking of them. Set a
goal to do at least 1 nice thing for your partner every week to bring you
closer. For instance, you might do 1 of the following:
- Write
them a love letter.
- Do
them a favor.
- Give
them a small gift.
- Pick
up their favorite treat while you’re out getting takeout.
- Send
them flowers at work.
- Give
them a compliment.
Ask each other deeply personal questions to learn more
about each other. Learning about each other helps you build emotional
intimacy, so ask each other deep questions. Work these conversations into your
routine so you’re constantly getting to know each other. For instance, spend a
date night having a deep conversation, discuss your answers in the car, or
ask-and-answer 1 question a day.
- Write
your own list or look for one online. For instance, you might ask
questions like, "What are the top 5 rules you live by?"
"What would you do on your dream vacation?" "How would you
spend a million dollars?" "What is something you wish you could
change about yourself?" and "What would your ideal life be
like?"
Method 2: Spending Time Together
Go on an actual date at least once a week. Going
on dates create intimate experiences between you and your partner. Plus, it
helps you let loose and have fun together, which is important in a
relationship. Invite your partner out at least once a week, and look for fun
activities you can do with them.
- Watch
for flyers or Facebook events that might be fun, like festivals, live
music, or holiday celebrations.
- Be
spontaneous! For instance, ask them to go to the park after dinner to
watch the sunset.
Engage in a playful activity to bring you closer.
Playing together allows you to have more fun and to feel
relaxed together. This helps you enjoy your time together and get closer to
each other. Do playful activities together, such as playing sports, playing
board games, going to an arcade, or attending an art class.
- Make
a list of fun things that each of you wants to do. Include things like
going to a theme park, playing beach volleyball, and going bowling.
Create something together:
Making something requires you and your partner to work on
the same goal. This helps you become a better team and may give you something
to laugh about. Invite your partner to create something new together. Here are
some ideas:
- Cook a
meal
- Make a
piece of art.
- Decorate
a room.
- Build
a birdhouse.
- Make
holiday decorations.
- Build
a porch swing.
Invent special anniversaries to celebrate:
You likely already celebrate the day you started dating your
partner. However, your relationship might have other milestones that you could
celebrate. Having special anniversaries that only you share is special and may
help bring you closer together, so create silly or personal celebration days
with your partner.
- For
instance, let’s say your first-weekend trip together took place on the
second weekend in October. You might go away for that weekend every year.
- Similarly,
let’s say the first time you tried sushi was on your third date. You might
record that day and celebrate “sushi virgin” day every year by trying a
new type of fish or a new specialty roll.
Method 3: Improving Your Sex Life
Send each other flirty texts as part of your foreplay.
You probably know that foreplay is super important, but
sometimes it’s hard to stoke your partner’s fire. Risque or naughty text
messages might help you both get in the mood for sex later. Tell your partner
what you want to do to them later or about a fantasy you’re having. If your
partner is somewhere they can check their phone discreetly, text them a
revealing photo of you.
- You
might text them, “I’m thinking about what I want to do to your body
later,” or “You looked so good getting out of the shower this morning. I
hope we can recreate that tonight.”
- You
could also send a photo of you pulling up your skirt or of a bulge in your
pants.
An experiment in the bedroom to spice things up:
After you’ve been with someone for a while, you might feel
like sex isn’t as exciting. This can lower your sex drive and make you feel
less connected to your partner. Fortunately, trying new things might put the
spark back in your relationship. Play around in the bedroom so you and your
partner can get frisky.
- For
instance, get a Kama Sutra book and try out different positions.
- Use
toys to enhance your pleasure.
- Try
sex dice to spice things up.
- Use
handcuffs or rope.
- Eat
food off of each other.
Talk about sex during your daily life to stimulate your
desire:
Make sex a regular topic of conversation between you and
your partner. Talk about your past encounters, your fantasies, and the things
you’d like to try. This might help you both feel more interested in sex and
excited about having it. Plus, it builds emotional intimacy because you’re
sharing with each other.
- You
might say things like, “Remember when we did it in the kitchen. I hope we
can do that again the next time the house is empty,” or “I had a daydream
that you licked whipped cream off of me, and now I can’t stop thinking
about it.”