Anyone can fall in love with the sister's husband or boyfriend; it happens only because we are human. But, what do you now do?
Falling in love with your sister’s husband or boyfriend is a sure sign of trouble; both from your sister and your immediate family members. That you have developed feelings for him is not the issue here but what you do with the feelings you have developed.
Because we are humans and have emotions, we could develop some undue affection for our sister’s man. It could be because he is handsome; rich; has broad shoulders and is tall; or because he happens to have a solution to all your challenges in life. Whatever the reason may be, falling in love or even secretly desiring your sister’s husband will only precipitate in traumas.
So what do you do? How do you tackle it when you discover that you have developed feelings for your sister’s boyfriend?
First, let’s treat what you must never do.
Things you must never think of doing if you have feelings for your sister's man
• Don’t ever think of expressing your feelings to him; especially in private
This is a sure no-no. If he is like most men, he will surely take advantage of you having known you have feelings for him. It’s like asking the rat to go and apologize to a cat. The rat will definitely end up as a meal. Some ladies do think that calling him aside in private and expressing their feelings will make things better. It sure won’t. It will only escalate things since he now knows you are easy prey.
• Do ever even think of sleeping with him.
No matter what you do, sleeping with your sister's guy is the last thing you would want to consider doing. This might appear obvious but why do some sisters still keep on sleeping with their sibling's guys? All the pores in your body might be screaming to go the natural course but just hold yourself girl. Do not sleep with him.
• Do not tell your sister.
Telling your sister will only destroy the bond between you and your sister. She will start growing overly suspicious of you; especially when you are around the husband or guy. Never, tell her. You will only injure your sister the more and make her never to trust you ever again. It might even bring tension into her relationship as she will never have peace of mind anytime you are around or in town.
• Don’t tell your friends or your sister’s friend about your inordinate emotions
Friends of your sister are the last persons you would want to know about your amoral desires towards your sister’s boyfriend or husband. They will only see you as a cheap slut and keep their own boyfriends and husbands far away from you. Neither should you inform your friends. You are likely to receive similar treatment.
• Never tell your boyfriend or husband
This is the last option you would want to consider, especially if you are married or in a relationship. Telling your husband/boyfriend would definitely breed jealousy, distrust, and strain in your own relationship.
So what do you now do? It all appears as if there is no way out.
Things you must-do if you develop feelings for your sister's husband
• Keep him at a distance
Keeping him at arm’s length is a good tactic. This appears to be quite obvious but believe me; it’s not going to be easy; especially as your feelings are deep-rooted. Again, your sister is going to wonder why you are keeping away from her boyfriend/husband. This will even brew more suspicion. So how do you keep away from him successfully, without arousing the suspicion of your sister?
At this point in time, I would believe that your sister’s boyfriend is already aware of how he affects your emotions. If he still continues to play coy, then you already know he is out to score with you.
You can keep away by avoiding any circumstances that will put just the two of you together in a lonely environment even for a short time. Do not take chances. You won’t believe what could happen in two minutes and once it happens, you become trapped for life or risk breaking up the relationship between your sister and her man.
• Strengthen your relationship with whoever you are dating
What are those qualities you see and admire about your sister’s husband? Begin to picture those same qualities in your partner. All men are unique in their own way but you will definitely see some of those same things you will cherish in your partner. They may not be profound as that of your sister’s husband or boyfriend but they are there all the same. Strengthen those qualities in your subconscious.
What were those things that made you fell in love with your partner in the first place? Relive them all over and over again.
• Think of the shame aftermath your actions
When one is intoxicated with infatuation as you are now, you can hardly think straight,; least of the shame and stigma you are like to harvest should you do succeed in sleeping with your sister’s man.
One thing with men is that they can hardly keep a secret of their sexual conquest. They like narrating their sexual escapades to boost their tiny ego in the presence of their male pack. You will definitely end up as a topic of discussion. In the end, everyone would know about your waywardness. You alone will bear the shame and stigma.
• Pray and seek counsel from a therapist or Spiritual Counselor
Finally, you could seek good counsel from your Pastor or a Man of God if you are a Christian; or see a therapist. It always helps to share with someone who has something good to offer.
I believe with all my heart that if you stick to all the above advice, you will never err.