I hope you are doing okay. It’s tiring to be on top of society’s expectations all the time. There are a lot of things hounding you for attention today, but let’s have a little chat, shall we? Just for some time, let’s forget everything about calls to be made, things to be organized, people to be dealt with and battling general exhaustion, physical and emotional, that tires us the most. Our lives may not be same but they are not as different as people would have you believe either. The only difference is that I am playing by society’s rules while you are creating yours.
I have seen you, out of place, sometimes dreading, parties and family functions full of couples, wondering, if you had scales underneath that dress that fit you like a dream. Inevitably, the conversation will turn into a festival of embarrassment and jokes at the cost of your smile. Please, don’t listen to them. There is no greater tragedy in the world than staying in a place that you don't fit in. There are a lot of reasons people get married for but it’s never worth losing your mind over it.
Your weight, age, skin color, and marital status isn’t more important than you.
No matter how people romanticize married relationships, the truth is, a lot of us wake up on a lot of days, wishing we could be someone else with another life. And it’s not like I don’t love my life; it would be nice to be able to decide for once if all I wanted to do was curl up with a book and a bottle of wine over the weekend instead of paying attention to bills and babies.
There will be a thousand cuddling couples around you by now. But please, choose love for love. Don’t choose love out of loneliness.
Love yourself first. That’s the harder part. It’s easier to love people because we afford them the ability of imperfection. A good marriage is usually an outcome of trust and self-respect.
If you must choose, always choose to chase the light. There is a big world hiding just outside of where we live, right outside our comfort zones. People will tell you that there are rules; there is only one world and only one way to see it. Prove them wrong with the magic in your heart and the light in your eyes. Having someone to love is great; it is not everything, we both know that.
Choose your life: whether you want to go out on a date or laugh at couples who have now become Siamese twins. You can be what you want.
Remember: your growth isn’t tragic. Don’t let people use ambition as a bad word for you. You are much more than the sum total of people’s expectations.
You do. I may not tell you often, but I am rooting for you.
Love,
Your married-since-forever friend