After you thought it was over, your phone starts beeping with tons of texts from him asking to see you again. Whatever the reason it was for the breakup, it’s never too late to give it another chance. When you close the door completely, you lose the chance to offer, receive forgiveness and learn more about yourself.
It’s always great if the guy takes the lead asking you both to get back together. But if you are the one taking the lead to get back with him, you might become desperate and angry again if things don’t turn out the way you wanted. If he’s not really interested, he might even take advantage of you and you’re up for more issues ahead if you end up getting married to a guy who is passive and can’t take the lead.
Hopefully, you ended the relationship well by discussing your expectations and calmly stating why you both wanted to go your separate ways. Many ladies regret what they have said and done in the weeks leading up to the breakup, only to find themselves apologizing and feeling bad about it. So he wants you back, then:
Take It Slow
It’s better to be slow and steady than be on a fast track heading nowhere. Talk together about why you broke up, what went well and what could have been avoided. Many ladies agree to get back only because they want him to quickly pick a wedding date and start all the planning towards it. Don’t rush the process, let the healing take its natural course and discuss what your expectations are. Don’t call him too often and jump right back into the swing of things. Let him demonstrate his commitment to get back with you and be the one pursuing and not you have given ultimatums and deadlines. It’s tough but you want something that’s sustainable.
Be Honest And Sincere
There are different schools of thought as regards information disclosure. Some people will suggest you don’t give out as much information of what you’ve been up to while you were away or might even say you can exaggerate so he thinks he’s missed out a lot and must be grateful you’re back. Others might feel so much pressure to show and tell how much they’ve missed his company or how they got into a depressed mood waiting for his call. Whichever stance you choose, honesty and sincerity are important. Share your honest feelings about the break-up and don’t sweep it under the carpet too quickly if you were hurt.
Get On With Your Life
Whether you just got serious in a relationship or getting back with your ex, you shouldn’t hit the ‘pause’ button on your life, get on with your plans, dreams, and ambitions. Only desperate ladies will plan their lives around this new status and keep everything else on hold. When you’re busy and occupied, seeing someone will just be another item and not the main thing on your to-do list. Enjoy your time with your girlfriends and just yourself. When he sees you’re busy and not doing all around him, he’ll respect you more and might start to negotiate to have more time with him.
Nicely Find Out What His Plans Are
It’s okay you guys are back but what’s the plan. You don’t want to rush things but you also don’t want to be hanging in there forever. Some guys don’t plan to get married or not anytime soon but just want someone in the background. You might be surprised there isn’t anything planned or that something’s coming up. It’s not a time to visit his family or help him around with house chores. Define our new relationship and what the boundaries are. Let him know what you can and cannot do leaving no room for assumptions. Don’t be ashamed to call off getting back if you aren’t convinced you really want to get back again.
Lower Your Expectations
Don’t have too high expectations as he hasn’t become an angel overnight. He’s still the same person trying out for another chance. You don’t want to walk around on eggshells either but just allow things be. It’s best not to expect too much out of this so you don’t get disappointed. Keep an open mind and who knows it could swing either way, you could move ahead in your relationship or even have another breakup. Don’t refer to things he did before that led to the breakup. Rehashing his weaknesses won’t get you anywhere either. It’s great to be back but blowing your trumpet so loudly and sharing every bit on social media might be a bit overboard in case things fall apart again.
Have A New Attitude
It’s going to be tough keeping up a right attitude especially when you think of all that had gone up leading up to the breakup. If it was largely his fault, it won’t be easy wiping that off your memory so quickly. It’s going to take more than a conscious effort on your part to see you both getting back together as a fresh start, some sort of a new beginning, giving him and yourself another chance or a clean slate. Your attitude will determine the quality of the relationship, it’s up to you to make or mar it. Take the opportunity to do things differently, get creative and think outside the box. Make it almost impossible for him to predict your next step.