I would like to present you here six ways that could
support you to become self-socialized person.
1, Pay attention to your insecurities. Everybody
feels shy or insecure from time to time, but if you feel inhibited by your
shyness, it is probably because you have been telling yourself you are somehow
inadequate. These feelings of inadequacy are reinforced on a daily basis by the
negative things you constantly tell yourself. Learn to pay attention to
negative thoughts and distinguish the rational thoughts from the irrational
ones.
- Do
you constantly tell yourself you're unattractive? Do you tell yourself
you're boring? That you're weird? Irresponsible? Negative thoughts like
these are what keep you from feeling confident enough to be a social
person. More importantly, they keep you from living a fulfilling life.
- Until
you've addressed your insecurities and told yourself you're a worthy
person, you won't be able to truly socialize.
- Sometimes
we get so accustomed to these negative thoughts that we no longer notice
them. Start paying to attention to the kinds of thoughts you are having.
2, Learn to cope with
your negative thoughts. Once you have learned to recognize
when you are having a negative thought, you can slowly train yourself to
silence these thoughts so that they no longer inhibit your life. When you catch
yourself having a negative thought, try one of the following exercises:
- First,
acknowledge that the thought is there. Now, close your eyes, and visualize
the thought in your mind's eye. Label it as a "negative"
thought, and then let it slowly dissolve until it disappears completely.
- Turn
a negative thought into a constructive one. Let's say you're overweight,
for example. Instead of constantly telling yourself "I'm fat,"
tell yourself "I'd like to lose weight and get healthy so that I'll
have more energy and feel more attractive." This way, you can turn a
negative thought into a positive goal for the future.
- For
every negative thought, think of three positive thoughts.
- Being
a positive person will also make it much easier for you socialize and make
friends. Nobody wants to be friends with a Negative Nancy
3, Make a list of your positive qualities. Unfortunately,
we spend so much time trying to improve ourselves that we forget to acknowledge
our accomplishments, our talents, and our good nature. Ask yourself the
following questions to get you started:
- What
have you done in the past year that you are proud of?
- What
is your proudest accomplishment of all time?
- What
unique talents do you have?
- What
do people tend to compliment you on?
- What
positive impact have you made on other peoples' lives?
4, Stop comparing yourself to others. Part
of the reason why people struggle with insecurity is because they compare their
own "low" points with other peoples' "high" points. In
other words, they compare the negative qualities of their own lives with the
positive qualities of other peoples' lives.
- Keep
in mind that behind closed doors, everybody experiences pain or suffering
from time to time. If you find yourself wondering why certain people seem
happier than you, remind yourself that happiness has little to do with
external circumstances, and everything to do with attitude.
- If
you're too busy worrying about others, then you won't have time to make
yourself a more interesting, well-rounded person.
5, Remember that you're not the center of the
universe. Ironically, people who feel invisible and insecure
also tend to feel like they are constantly being watched, criticized, and
laughed at. While you are certainly not invisible, it is irrational to think
that strangers are constantly staring at you and waiting for you to mess up.
People are so involved with their own lives that they have little time to
notice if you do or say something embarrassing. Even if they do notice, they
will likely forget the incident within an hour or two, while you may hold on to
it for years.
- Letting
go of the feeling that you are constantly being watched and judged will
help you learn to ease up and relax around other people, making
socializing much more pleasant.
- Get
over the fact that everyone is always staring at you or judging you. Like
you, they are more concerned about themselves than the people around them.
6. Get over your fear of rejection. So,
the worst thing that can happen is...you meet someone, and that person doesn't
want to hang out with you again. Is that unpleasant? Sure. The end of the
world? Absolutely not. Most of the time, this definitely will not happen. If
you think that most people will reject you and are afraid of socializing
because of it, then you'll be missing out on meeting a lot of amazing people.
- Know that you're not going to hit it off with everybody, or even most people. But think about all of the amazing relationships you can form if you just put yourself out there more.