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It's a given that mums are stressed, pretty much most if not all of the time. And you'd think that the stress has mostly got to do with those little angels who have the capacity to drive the poor mums oh-so-crazy! Well, surprisingly or not surprisingly for some, studies show that mum stress is caused by husbands more than the kids!
There are many ways in which husbands contribute to mum stress. Sometimes it has to do with them messing up every time they try to do something parenting-related and at times it has to do with them having unrealistic demands and expectations of their wives. In more extreme cases it has to do with their lack of presence, emotional support, infidelity, lack of focus or being overly focused on their jobs and the list goes on.
But this study refers to another type of mum stress that husbands cause. The stress that is caused by husbands not actively participating in the upbringing of the children!
Yes, in this modern day and age, with all the emphasis on gender equality, working women, feminism, and so on, you'd expect that parenting is an equally shared responsibility. Right? Not. Apparently, in many households, the stress of parenting seems to weigh more heavily upon the women and this causes mum stress.
Mums are stressed because their husbands aren't doing enough when it comes to being a parent!
Lack of support
It takes two to tango, and as such, both parents need to actively and as far as possible, equally participate in the upbringing of their children. And mums cannot come to terms with the fact that the brunt of parenting always seems to fall on them.
Of the women who were surveyed for this study, 45% of them felt that mum stress is more to do with their husband's lack of involvement than the actual difficulty of raising the kids.
Some husbands end up losing their cool when they are expected to help around the house.
In their defense, the men said that the problem lies with the fact that "women aren't able to ask for help and assume that they can solve all problems of child-rearing alone".
The study concludes that proper communication between both parties is the solution, but mums beg to differ.
Conclusion
Well, mums and dads, parenting isn't easy. I once came across a saying,
Having kids today is a recipe for marital discord and psychological catastrophe.
This can happen if you don't be careful. I guess it all boils down to a lot of communication. Mums, men can get insensitive or remain oblivious to our needs and they often attribute it to how they are wired. While that's not an excuse, it might reduce some mum stress if you just clearly communicate your expectations to your spouse.
We know it's hard, but try to find joy in parenting by making it a team effort.
If you're not a parent yet then this is the best time to talk and set expectations of how you are going to raise your child together.
Reference: Home Remedies Garden