Is it really about how long a time it lasts, or about the level of satisfaction it brings?
A male sexual template would like intercourse to last for as long as possible, fueled by their efficient arousal mechanism that utilizes all senses; not so for the female’s sexual template, which is much shorter.
As to vaginal comfort: can your vagina handle ‘the longer the better’ intercourse without chafing irritation? Remember: the longer they thrust, the drier the vagina will get, so make sure to stop intercourse when you had enough, or to add lubrication if you wish it to continue. It is your obligation to your genital health to keep your vagina irritation-free!
Another reminder: most women do not get aroused just because the penis got inside them and is thrusting; clitoral stimulation, direct or indirect is necessary. This adds a dimension to ‘how long would I want to have the penis inside me, even if comfortable?’ It could be a very long laundry list…
Our clinical experience suggests that most sexual encounters follow a pattern of satisfying the woman first (gives the male an opportunity to keep his arousal going for a long time…), followed by the woman giving him intercourse. In that common scenario, women do prefer short & sweet intercourse.
Our clinical experience suggests that most sexual encounters follow a pattern of satisfying the woman first (gives the male an opportunity to keep his arousal going for a long time…), followed by the woman giving him intercourse. In that common scenario, women do prefer short & sweet intercourse.
An option for longer-lasting intercourse: this can easily happen when couples engage in simultaneous stimulation: ‘working on her’ while his penis is inside her and thrusting just enough to maintain his arousal, timing it to climax in tandem with her.
Since we now know that what matters is the level of satisfaction, so let’s look at how to make it more pleasurable for both partners.
Sex Tip #1: Make sure the female body is ready for penetration
- Start with lots of full-body touch.
- We recommend female orgasm or high arousal before penetration
- Before penetration with a penis, be sure to use your fingers to warm her up!
Sex Tip #2: Emphasize Clitoral Stimulation
- 80% of women DO NOT orgasm through intercourse alone.
- Most women need direct clitoral stimulation to experience orgasm.
- Emphasize clitoral stimulation before AND during intercourse
- It is often easiest for her to keep touching own clitoris once intercourse has started
Sex Tip #3: Master Graceful Penetration
- The first moment of penetration can be exquisite and sets the tone for the entire session
- Make sure not to penetrate before she is ready
- Try holding still and letting her slide onto the penis at her own pace
- Try holding still outside the entrance and then enter one inch at a time
- Once in a while, plunging in will feel good but make sure it is the right moment and she is really aroused before you do!
Sex Tip #4: Use Lube
- Remember, wetness is not a good indicator of arousal
- Women can be aroused but not wet, or wet but not aroused
- Whenever it is needed, use good quality, all-natural lube.
Sex Tip #5: Master Your Movement
- Remember that jackhammer thrusting is not the only way
- Explore depths, rhythms, speed
- Ask her what she wants and pay attention to what she is responding to
Sex Tip #6: Explore (Sensible) Sex Positions
- Too much emphasis on positions but most are not practical if you want to relax into pleasure
- What makes a great sex position depends on how your two bodies fit together, so you have to experiment
- Use pillows under hips, standing on side of the bed, use furniture creatively
- Focus on comfort and the ability to thrust and move easily
- Take turns being the more active one, let him rest and her do the work once in a while
Sex Tip #8: Explore The Extras
- Hold still inside, explore her squeezing and releasing pelvic muscles
- Make and hold eye contact
- Use full body touch during intercourse to maximize skin to skin contact
- Adjust your erotic attitude, from sexual scarcity to sexual abundance.
- Embrace the spiritual side of sex