Come on guys, what do you expect when your wife comes home from work at 9 pm, checks if everything is OK, checks on the kids’ homework, ensures you have your dinner, irons your shirts and by the time she goes to bed, it is 11 pm and the next day she is the first to wake up. Can she really have any desire for sex when she goes to bed?
All the women shared such concerns.
In fact, I once came across research that showed that the more sex a couple has, the happier they are.
Sex therapists also say that for a solid and happy marriage, a couple should have sex at least once a week.
That’s the ideal, but given the pressures that working and stay-at-home mothers face, achieving that target is virtually impossible.
As much as sex is a critical component of a healthy marriage, as career women, certain pressures take a toll on us, and our energies and desires dip.
Unlike men, women perform double roles - in the house and in the workplace. By the time they are heading to bed, they are exhausted even expecting them to have sex is asking for too much.
Men have an easier time. When they come home, they relax on the couch and wait to be served like a king. But a woman who is also from work does not have that luxury.
Ladies, this article is not to encourage you to slacken in your sex life, but to make you aware of the hurdles on our way to a fulfilling sex life and ultimately happy marriage.
If tired sex is the only sex you're having, or if your sex life is stalled by constant fatigue, it's time to find a solution. Try these better sex tips today.
Communicate
Research shows that couples who talk about sex together tend to have better sex. You don’t get what you don’t ask for. It can also be helpful to know if the things you’re doing in the bedroom are effective. Communicating with your partner about sex can help you both to more effectively state your needs and let each other know when you are (or aren’t) feeling ready for intimacy. Who knows, it might just improve your overall relationship as a couple.
Begin touch outside of the bedroom
Are you waiting until you hit the sheets to get your hands on each other? If so, you’re doing it wrong. Great sex begins with the small touches. Holding hands, kissing, or hugging throughout the day will put you both in the mood for when you get the chance to be intimate. So don’t wait to get a little handsy. It’ll strengthen your relationship and create an atmosphere of trust and love.
Get creative
Still using the same moves you used in the early days of your relationship? It’s time to get creative. All of us (but especially women) get turned on by different things at different times, depending on our mood. So don’t use the old “fall back” when it comes to sex. The nice thing about intimacy is that there are numerous ways to spice things up. Massage, dirty talk, toys, and new locations or positions can help. Whatever you do, aim to keep things fresh.
Accentuate the positive
Intimacy is not all roses, but talking about it like it is may improve your sexual satisfaction. A 2016 study found that couples who could joke about embarrassing sexual moments and emphasized praise during sex had higher sexual satisfaction. Keeping things positive in (and out) of the bedroom will help you both stay satisfied with your sex life.
Begin foreplay (a lot) earlier
Mental foreplay is the most effective type of foreplay. Talk and flirt regularly throughout the day, even if it’s just a short text or email. Being attentive and complimenting your spouse often sets the mood long before you reach the bedroom.
Get moving
It’s a well-known fact that exercise produces endorphins that lift your mood. In addition to having many other health benefits, exercise might also increase your sex drive. When you exercise, the circulation in your body improves (including the blood flow to your genitals). With increased circulation your mood and sexual desire will improve. Lace-up and hit the gym together for even more benefits before you get moving in the bedroom.
Work together
Sharing household chores can lead to more satisfying and more frequent sex. Research shows that creating fairness in the division of labor at home may spice things up in the bedroom. Let him cook a little more. Split up laundry and work together on household chores whenever possible.
Change up timing
If you can’t seem to get your partner interested in intimacy in the evenings, you might be trying the wrong time of day. Instead of your normal routine in the evenings, try adding sex into your morning or afternoon schedule. With men’s testosterone levels peaking in the morning and women’s ovulation hormones happening in the afternoons, you’ll be better served to have sex during those times when one (or both) of you is ready instead of in the evenings when both of you are exhausted.
Improving sex and intimacy in your relationship doesn’t have to be difficult. With a few small tweaks you can enhance your relationship together instead of falling asleep watching TV before you drift off to sleep.