Remember the days when you were newly married? You couldn't keep your eyes (and hands) off each other, and the sex...oh the sex was mind-blowingly good! But then a few years pass. Along come a couple of kids and all the other commitments of family life.
And then it happens to the best of us - the intensity of sex starts to fade.
But it doesn't have to be this way. Wedding rings needn't symbolize stale sex. The truth is that sex with a committed lifetime partner can actually be the best sexual experience of them all.
Discover how married sex can stay hot and get even better as time goes by. We give you some of the ways on how to keep your married sex-life sizzling.
Understand your partner
Experts say great married sex is correlated with understanding your partner. For women, the more they understand what turns their husbands on, the more their husbands will love sex with them. For example, most men's need for visual variety is much higher than women's. So if you understand this, you won't get so offended the next time you catch your husband watching porn. Instead, why not join him in watching what makes him excited? You might get a bit excited about yourself!
Get past ruts
Every marriage will have a time when kids and careers get in the way of your relationship. There will also be periods of bad or no communication, or not connecting with each other. When you experience these ruts, don’t neglect sex. If your marriage is experiencing a dip, it’ll fall even further if you both don’t connect sexually. So instead of abandoning your bedroom activities at the first sign of trouble, use sex to get back on track.
No-kid zone
True, kids are one of the many wonderful results of sex. But for you both to have a smoking sex-life after kids come along, you have to be able to focus on each other at least sometimes. Make your bedroom a kid-free zone. If your kids keep charging into your room the minute you start thinking about getting your groove on, explain to them that at this time of day, "mummy and daddy's bedroom is for mummy and daddy only."
Break the monotony
Married life can often be a series of boring routines. Breakfast, school drop-off, lunch, school pick-up, dinner, bedtime, sex-time. Break the monotony when it comes to sex. Be spontaneous and adventurous. Why limit sex to the bedroom? If no one else is around, the opportunities are endless. Kitchen benchtop, dining table, couch - they can all be new and exciting places to try out those hot sex positions you saw in that porn flick you watched together!
No frump zone
We know, that old, faded nightie is just SO comfy. But take a look at yourself in a mirror wearing it. Not sexy, right? If you no longer bother to put in the effort to make yourself attractive to your husband, he could lose interest in being intimate with you. Keep the sex hot by maintaining your looks. Slip under the sheets all fragrant and soft, and wearing what he thinks you look sexy in. Even better, wear nothing at all!
Think out of the box
Married sex doesn't have to follow rules. Plan out a romantic date followed by a night in a hotel room (of course, leaving the kids with a trusted carer). Or invest in some gorgeous lingerie that will have your man lusting for you all the time. Why not send him a suggestive text message while he's at work? He won't be able to wait to get home and get his hands on you!
Embrace yourself for who you are
We are bombarded with images from every direction of what a perfect woman should look like. Mums aren't spared either - just look at all the stories in the media about celebrity 'yummy mummies' who are reed-thin weeks after giving birth. Seeing such images can make us unhappy with how we look and this can hold us back when it comes to sex. But it's highly likely your man loves your body just the way it is. If you have curves and hips, embrace them. All men, including your husband, think there is nothing as sexy as a woman who loves her body.
Foreplay
Don't limit foreplay to what you do just before you have sex. Healthy marriage foreplay can start first thing in the morning and last all day. Even if your kids are around, you can still tease your husband with soft, secret strokes on his leg under the table, a hasty kiss that's still full of promise, or a quick glimpse of those sexy knickers he loves as you bend down to pick up something.
Try it out!
Go on, try some of these ideas, and see how your married sex life explodes! Sex with your life-partner is so much more than just a physical act. It's tenderness, excitement, commitment, and joy expressed through your bodies. So why not start working on having great married sex right now?