In a harmonious marriage, sex is a way to intimately connect with your partner. But sometimes distractions can interfere with your ability to connect with your partner, this could be work, school, or kids that dominate your time. Whatever your distraction is, sex is often the thing that gets kicked in the back in a relationship but you don’t have to let life get in the way of your sexual relationship with your spouse. To maintain a healthy sexual relationship, you need to communicate and make an effort as partners to spice things up and have fun with each other.
These are suggested tips for married couples to develop a healthy and long-lasting sexual relationship in their marriages.
Talking to Your Partner
Telling your partner what you like is the safest, smartest and quickest way to improve your sexual relationship. Communicate openly with your partner on what turns you on and what turns you off. Discuss your limitations and your ambitions for your sex life. Tell your partner anything they need to know to make your sex life as pleasurable as possible. Don’t focus on what your partner is doing wrong, instead, focus on expressing your desires. Both men and women experience physical changes in their bodies that can affect their sex lives. So if menopause is changing your libido, tell your spouse. It’s better than your partner thinking you are withdrawing and if he is experiencing erectile dysfunction, encourage him to visit the doctor.
Connect with your partner
Before sexually connecting, try connecting in different ways. These ways may differ from couple to couple, so it’s important to connect in meaningful ways as a couple. Find the ways you meaningfully connect, then engage these interactions before sex. Intimacy can include intellectual, experiential, and emotional connection. You want to build a sense of intimacy and trust as a foundation. Emotionally connect through heart-filled conversation, sharing your feelings and practicing empathy. Connect physically with your partner by sitting across from each other and staring into each other’s eyes and maintain this intimacy until you are ready to move forward.
Go on a vacation together
As a married couple, oftentimes you are distracted by work, school, or presence of kids that interfere with your sex drive. Even a short weekend away can alleviate the burden of daily life. So break away from routine by eliminating distractions and allow your focus to be on your partner and your relationship. You can find a babysitter to take care of your kids and take a mini-vacation with your spouse. Your budget will determine your choice of vacation. While at home, you can also take a vacation by shutting off the computer and cell phones, turning off the TV and having time for your partner.
See a counselor
If your fears of intimacy or anxiety significantly impact your sexual relationship, then you need to consider seeing a therapist. A therapist can help you explore ways to experience intimacy with your partner, work through anxiety, and communicate more effectively. You can see a counselor as a couple or individually. A therapist can help work through problems that may interfere with intimacy, such as past sexual abuse, emotional problems, domestic violence and can help foster safe and positive attitudes toward a healthy sexual relationship.
Spice up your sex life
To develop a healthy sexual relationship as a married couple, try to be flexible and spice up your sex life. Use some relaxation techniques before sexual activity to relax with your partner and strive to enjoy every moment of the experience. Slow down and focus on sensuality before diving into sex. Introduce foreplay and massages to create mutual excitement and explore each other’s bodies before you’re allowed to move on. Make the touching part of sex as long and luxurious as possible. Put on soft music and make an evening of it. Take your time and be spontaneous and have it at unexpected times in unexpected ways and places and break the usual boring routine.