My 22nd birthday was a few months ago (hello to my fellow Libras) and I’ve been doing a lot of self-reflecting on what I’ve been up to in the last few years. Now I know that 22 isn't that old but I’ve picked up a few life lessons here and there that I thought that I would share.
1. Friendships are important
I’ve had a few missed opportunities with a friend I had in
the past that I can’t get back now. Friends come and go in life but I’ve come
to realize that you need to put in effort into your friendships. You can’t just
wait for them to hit you up. Invest in people who invest their time for you,
there’s a reason why they are hitting you up.
Looking at the friends that I surround myself with now,
sometimes I get emotional because I’m so lucky to have them. It wasn’t easy to
get to this point but I can confidently say that I have a solid group of
homies.
2. Learn to negotiate
Knowing how to negotiate is important for growth. I’ve just
started my career and walking into a negotiation was one of the most
nerve-wracking things I’ve ever done. The first time I had to negotiate my
raise I was literally going to shit my pants. Know your worth and do your
research! Keep different offers in mind so you don’t get blindsided and you
have options open.
3. Life is not linear
Even though you may have a 10-year plan, keep in mind that
life can throw you a curveball. Sometimes you just have to work with what
you’ve got, it’s all about moving forward and making progress.
4. Everyone smiles in the same language
A smile from a stranger could make someone’s day, plus it’s
contagious. Everyone recognizes it and it’s hard not to smile back.
5. Swap expectations for appreciation
I’m guilty of comparing my life to my peers, and from this,
I’ve learned that gratitude is powerful. Changing your perspective from
expecting more from life and appreciating what you have can change your
outlook. If you think about it, you could be that icon that you’re constantly
comparing yourself to in someone else’s eyes. Count your blessings and
appreciate what you have.
6. Party it up
Let’s be real, we’re not going to be young forever. We might
as well take advantage of our high metabolism and alcohol tolerance while we’re
young. I say, at least try it once, if it’s not your scene at least can say
you’ve done it. You’re not always going to be able to bounce back.
7. Invest in your skincare
I first got acne when I was 12 so skincare became very
important to me at a young age. My mom has always taught me that skincare is
important and you have to invest in it if you want to look good. You’re stuck
with the skin you have so treat it well. It’s all about prevention so wear your
sunscreen and moisturizer!
8. Shoot your shot
How often have we let opportunities pass us by? Scared to
make the first move? Do it! Want to ask for a raise? Go for it! Trust your Uber
driver in Tijuana to take you on a 2-hour grocery trip to Walmart? Why not?!
9. Check up on your grandparents
Oftentimes, we forget about our grandparents. I’ve always
been jealous of anyone who was able to visit their grandparents on the weekends
because my grandparents live in Indonesia. I don’t know how many more moments I
will get to share with my grandma so I take any chance I get to talk to my best
friend.
10. Your past doesn’t define you
Everyone’s been through shit and everyone has a past. Your
past helps shape who you are today but it doesn’t define you.
11. Surround yourself with good vibes
If you’re like me and you feed off of people’s energy then
surrounding yourself with people who hype you up and support you becomes very
important in your life. You start adopting the traits of the people around you
so make sure you surround yourself with the right people. People who genuinely
care about you, make you laugh, feed your drive for success and are not afraid
to ask you questions.
12. Smelling good
I can’t stress this one enough. Think about it, if a hot guy
comes up to you but smells like he hasn’t showered in 6 days, would you want to
be around him?
13. Be an active listener
This one took a while for me to understand. I used to try to
change my friends and family by giving them advice or I would want to be there
with them every step of the way. At one point I realized that I don’t have all
the answers and I should let people live their lives. Sure, I give advice here
and there but you just got to believe that they are doing the best they can.
The majority of the time, the best thing you can do is just listen and stop
trying to fix people. We all want to be heard and understood and often it’s
best to just listen and ask questions rather than giving your two cents.
14. Being indifferent is the opposite of love
I used to think that hate was the opposite of love but if
you think about it, if you hate a person you’re probably not over them or the
situation. When you’re truly over a situation you are able to talk about it
without feeling hate.
15. Your words become your identity
People hold on to the words you say and language is a
powerful thing. Try not to lose your mother tongue, it is a part of your
identity.
16. The difference between rich and wealthy
You work hard for your money and your money should work hard
for you too. A rich person works to keep their money while a wealthy person can
make the same money off their assets. It’s important to learn financial
literacy so you get the most out of your money. Don’t put all your eggs in one
basket.
Invest and save as early as you can.
17. There’s a reason why it’s called a crush
I get it now. Infatuation is a real thing. I never really
understood it but I get it. The moment that it hits you, GOD DAMN. It feels
like you’re getting hit by a bus, Regina George style. It’s the most
intoxicating, craziest, consuming feeling and it’s pretty intense. What you
choose to do with it is completely up to you, but have fun with it.
18. Invest in quality staple pieces
My style philosophy is “invest in classics that you’ll wear
in the future.” Pick quality items that will last season after season and just
mix and match your wardrobe. Don’t forget, accessories can make your outfit go
from a 6 to a 10.
19. Try it at least once
Looking back on life, I found that I always felt the most embarrassed
and insecure when people would make fun of my food. I would get so embarrassed
that my ears would get hot and my appetite would disappear. It’s important to
be open to trying new things and be open to different cultures. If you’re not
into it just shut up and eat your under-seasoned chicken breast.
20. Your mental state comes first
Let me tell you…if there’s one thing I learned in university
it’s that burnout is a REAL thing. In my third year of university, I had joined
an academic club, juggled 2 jobs, my then relationship was going through a
rough patch and dealt with my parents’ divorce. It really took a toll on me
because I was always so exhausted and I was always go go go. I was always
pretty good at keeping things to myself because I didn’t like being vulnerable
so everyone thought I was okay. On top of that, people would come to me to vent
and even though I wanted to be there for them it took a toll on my mental
state. It felt like there was another thing added onto my plate.
I had a lot of breakdowns and it affected my relationships.
Looking back I would tell myself that it’s okay to take time for yourself.
Work-life balance exists. There’s nothing wrong in saying “I love you, but
right now I don’t have the mental capacity to help you.” You’re not an alone
girl and there’s always going to be someone who is willing and able to listen.
21. Don’t hold in your pee
I don’t care if you’re afraid of the dark or lazy. Bladder
infections and UTIs are not fun. I repeat. Bladder. Infections. Are. Not. Fun.
It doesn't matter if it’s 4:40 am or one more episode, I don't want to hear it.
Your bladder is about to explode and if you don’t go you’re going to learn that
peeing is one of life’s simple pleasures.
22. Be nice to one another, pay it forward
The world is a small place and karma always finds her way to creep up on you. You don’t really know how a person’s day is going so try to be nice. Your attitude could make their day go from bad to worse. You never know, that co-op student you barely paid attention to could be the VP at the company you’re working at. It doesn't matter if you think you’re in first place, I’m not taking that dive for you, eat that blue shell.