On the 22nd of August 2021, 2 days after my birthday, I regained consciousness in the bed of my rapist and assaulter on top of me.
To date, I can not tell if I was blackout drunk or if I was drugged. But I
remember the powerlessness and weakness I felt knowing that my cries and NOs
were landing on deaf ears. That experience really did open doors to
rollercoasters I never dreamt of, both for me, and for my family and friends.
“Rape! What to Do In the Event”
Rape is forced sexual intercourse, including any
completed or attempted unwanted vaginal, oral, or anal penetration through the
use of physical force (such as being pinned or held down, or by the use of
violence) or threats to physically harm (such as killing the victim). It is a
crime of power and passion, where, anger, frustration, conquest, sadism and many
others are expressed often to survivors/victims within their very vulnerable
moments.
Types of rapes are many ranging from acquaintance (close
ally); date (a romantic or potentially expected sexual relations); gray
(consent is unclear); marital(spouse); statutory (age is below accepted);
prison( fellow prisoners/wardens); gang (group); serial( multiple offender);
campus (students; Corrective rape/ curative/ homophobic (hate due to perceived
sexual orientation or gender identity); genocidal( massive during war);
Unacknowledged (survivor/victim does not acknowledge it as rape; to rape by deception
( consent to sex is gained but by deception or false statements or actions)
Rape is an extremely difficult, traumatic experience for
survivors who face painful emotions of anger, guilt, betrayal, helplessness,
emptiness etc. Every survivor responds to the short and long term traumatic
experience in their own way.
There are several steps to take if unfortunately, one is
raped:
STEP 1:Ensure your personal safety and get help as
fast as possible (Security/police, Hospital etc.).
STEP 2: Please adhere strictly to the following.
- · Do not shower or bathe.
- · Do not wash any of the clothes that you were wearing during the incidence.
- · Do not either throw away such clothes-Preserve evidence as much as possible: if you change clothes wrap them in a brown paper bag/newspapers (not a plastic bag)
- · Avoid urinating, if need be urinate in a container and carry the urine to hospital
- · Do not brush your teeth or cut your nails
STEP 3
- · Seek medical assistance by visiting the nearest health facility unit
- · Get preventive treatment for HIV/AIDS, sexually transmitted infections, pregnancy (within 72hours) and physical injuries.
- · Ensure that the post Rape care form is filled and take the original and duplicate copies with you
STEP 4
Report the matter to the authority-/ police e.g. (Campus authority-Security).
Should such an incidence happens outside the campus; get to nearest police,
hospital etc. Survivors are also encouraged to involve the Centre for Gender
Equity and Empowerment, for further help and links to relevant support.
STEP 5: It is important you seek psychological
support (Counselling)
STEP 6:It is inevitable to seek legal redress (legal
advice)
Note: Fight a rapist as much as you can to avoid being conquered. However, in case a perpetrator is armed, be cautious to avoid fatal-geared reaction(s).