This suicide note, by the Tala Girls student who hanged herself, makes me sad! Sad because you can not undo death. It strikes with finality. She was accused of theft, and maybe she thought no one will ever understand her, and would stand accused for the time she spent in that school. It is very easy for students to make snide remarks.
On the weight of that matter, suicide doesn't come up as the right recourse.
Not that there are situations that warrant it. People have different breaking
points. When you reach there, anything is possible. Your thought process
becomes narrow. You settle on the first answer that comes to mind. You even
start liking it. It is the path to your peace and freedom. Death is one of
those answers. Instead of fearing it, you welcome it. Other people take to
drugs.
Some years ago, I found myself jobless and my food supplies depleted. I was
"sitting" on the deposit and the month was ending. I had nowhere to
go except to go back home. But I didn't contemplate that. I thought if I go
back home, people would sneer at me. I became so thin overnight and I could
feel the early stages of ulcers. I remembered I had a relative in Makindu who
had a big herd of livestock. I planned to go there and become his employee.
That was better than going back home!
I nursed this idea for two days until I liked it. I was now seeing a clear path
of peace and tranquility, away from the brutal and unforgiving life of the
city. But before I took action, I told a friend what I intended to do. He
looked sympathetic, but he was also living with a relative, so he couldn't help
me. In any case my mind was set for Makindu. My friend and I parted ways in the
evening after a lot of contemplations.
Two days later, he visited me with some rather good news. "Kasee, remember
that interview I did last month?" I have been told to report to work on
Monday. So, you aren't going anywhere. I have a friend who lives in a hostel, I
have already talked to him to host you for a month, as we look for a
rental." It was a sigh of relief. It was on a Friday, and I was set to
travel to Makindu the following day, Saturday. I didn't even have fare. The
landlord would evict me on Monday.
Within that month, while still "pirating " at the hostel, an
opportunity came through and I jumped to it. At the end of the month we moved
to a rental, my friend and I. We famously called that room Bird's Nest. I am
now a very strong-willed person, with a skin thicker than that of an armadillo.
No situation fazes me, as none is permanent.
There is always a light at the end of the tunnel, guys. Giving up should not be
an option.
May Dokee Rest in Peace!
#TalesOfTheSeeker as
narrated by Boniface Kilonzo