It’s cap and gown time; that wonderful time when high school and college students graduate and move on to their next adventure. It’s an exciting time. But, graduation can also be a bit of an etiquette minefield. I certainly made some mistakes with my own graduation and have made etiquette faux pas with other people’s graduations in the past. So, to avoid my mistakes and the others out there, here are some tips to help you navigate graduation.
Tips for Graduates
Use both the small and big envelope
This may date me, but when I received my packet of
graduation announcements I noticed there were two envelopes, a smaller one and
a larger one. Being the independent person I’ve always been I didn’t think to
ask my parents why I received two different envelopes. Instead, I tossed the smaller
ones and put the announcements in the larger envelope. I thought it was odd the
announcement was a little small for the envelope, but I didn’t let that stop me
and mailed them anyway. Well, turns out, I was supposed to put the announcement
into the small envelope and the small envelope into the large envelope – sort
of silly if you ask me. In fact, I bet schools no longer provide two envelopes;
but if yours does use them both.
Send announcements out after the
ceremony
The other faux pas I made many years ago was thinking a
graduation announcement I received from a friend’s son was an invitation to the
graduation ceremony. Despite not having tickets or information on where the
ceremony was taking place I thought my husband and I were being invited to the
event. We showed up only to be turned away because we didn’t have tickets. Huh?
Well, my confusion is one many people have faced. So, to avoid confusing those
people who you are not inviting to the graduation ceremony, send the graduation
announcement AFTER the ceremony.
Dress appropriately
Graduation is a big deal, so dress like it is. You’ll remove
your gown at some point in the celebrating so be sure what’s underneath is
graduation worthy. Skip the flip flops, shorts and casual t-shirts. Also, avoid
wearing anything that’s warm. It can get hot under that black gown, so wear
lighter fabrics.
Pay attention
While graduation ceremonies are usually long affairs try to
give it your full attention, especially when the speaker is talking. Glean some
helpful tips and inspiration from the presenter – often a successful business
person or VIP. Don’t be tempted by your phone. Turn it off and put it away.
Tips for Family and Friends
Let graduation be about the graduate
This is your graduate’s day, do not dictate who they can or
can’t invite to the ceremony or graduation party. If your child wants to invite
your ex, his birth mother who you despise, let bygones be bygones for one darn
day. Let the grad have her day.
Don’t confuse an announcement with an invitation
If the item you receive does not ask for a response and
doesn’t have either the ceremony and/or reception details it’s an announcement.
If you receive an invitation, be sure to respond promptly as to whether you can
attend or not.
Gifts and cards
If you receive a graduation announcement versus an
invitation to the ceremony and/or reception, a gift is not expected. However,
it’s lovely to send a card congratulating the graduate and wishing him success.
If you are invited to the ceremony or reception a gift is appropriate. It
doesn’t have to be anything extravagant. Cash or a check is always appreciated.
Gift cards to stores that sell items that would be suitable for new graduates
are great gifts.
Leave the blow horn at home
Do clap and whoop when your graduate’s name is called, but
don’t use a blow horn to show your excitement. People around you will not share
in your excitement. Also, stop the noise-making quickly so the next graduate’s
name can be heard by her family.
Let these tips make your or your family member’s graduation be a happy, friendly and celebratory event. Most importantly, congratulation graduates! You’ve worked hard. I wish you much success in your endeavors.