Post by: Kalai Selvi Arivalagan
Life is a bundle of unexpected happenings. Sometimes they drag you into an area that is entirely strange and new. My encounter with Condoms proved to be one like that. Right from childhood we were brought up in a closed circle of vigilance.
I was not allowed to go anywhere except my school and was advised to be always in good company and read good books. I was not allowed to read the weekly magazines and all kinds of journals that came through. Brought up in a strict disciplined way, I used to move away from the circle of girls who sat talking about boys and their pranks.
Every one discussed someone they knew and admired their favorite film stars. At that time, I used to wonder, why do they get so excited to talk about those men and what do they get from that? The same thing continues now also with teenage boys and girls, and still, I wonder what is in that?
I had never seen a condom in my life and even don't know how it looked and how they wore it. When I was so innocent about condoms at that age, my friends used to talk about balloons made out of condoms. Once they talked about the boys blowing balloons out of condoms and flying it in the air like kites. They giggled so much; I did not understand what made them laugh so much.
After marriage, I stepped into a family of five boys, my husband being the eldest. I began to understand then only. One day while cleaning a drawer of a bureau, I found so many packets named "nirodh". I felt awkward opening and seeing what was inside and so threw everything along with the other waste paper and things. My husband never used a condom and felt delicate to use it. Once he used it, but then also, I was not daring enough to see what it looked like. As we were longing to have our first child soon, we then never thought about following precautions.
Days after the marriage of my husband's brother and the arrival of the co-sister changed things. Though younger than me, she knew everything and very much liked to talk about sex and using condoms. Very rudely I asked her to stop such type of talk with me and leave me alone. To make me feel irritated she would even ask me to see the used condoms, which were thrown into the waste paper basket, and make me feel more embarrassed.
Days went on and I forgot about condoms. But things were not the same when I decided to join an organization that worked in the area of prevention of HIV and AIDS. I was so shocked to see the literal use of condoms and how the people handled it with ease. But still, then, I never dared to open a packet of condoms and see how it looked. I kept myself aloof with my work and never got into such type of discussion and talk.
Things changed suddenly for me when I was asked to do a condom survey study. I felt lost and did not want to take up the work. I felt very delicate to talk about condoms and enquire people about their usage of condoms. I suffered in silence. Then I was asked to go through a Foundation Course in HIV and AIDS Counselling. During that course, one of the sessions was about the Condoms.
To come out of our feelings of awkwardness, games and other related exercises were given. That was the first time in my life; that I opened a packet of condoms and took it out to see how it looked. While other people in the batch were handling condoms freely, making out different shapes and articles with the condoms, I could not withstand the smell of the condoms.
The condoms were lubricated and oily. I had to wash my hands with soap before having my food. I felt my hands smelt badly even after washing thoroughly. While people were discussing different kinds of condoms with color and perfume coming into the market, I was struggling to come out of the feeling of awkwardness. It took more than a week for me to come out of that and understand there were things in life, which had to be tolerated and taken care of.
Holding up your newly ribbed and dotted covered condom demonstrator with pride mid education session to a room full of young people feels like a job well done, but is it enough?
Sex education can be embarrassing and overwhelming, and that's just for all the overworked teachers who are going to be expected to deliver it in the very near future, but what about the young people you are talking too?
In my experience delivering sex education, there will quite often be one or two students ballsy enough, (excuse the pun), to show off their condom skills to the rest of the class. 9 times out of 10 there will be mistakes. The rest of the class sit there trying to take it in without looking for too long at the condom demonstrator which quite often is a purple or blue and bringing up concerns of whether it's actual penis sized for them to actually be fully concentrating on the task in hand!
Time doesn't allow you to get every student to have a go at putting on a condom, so what's the next step?
My suggestion when taking a session is to always recommend that practice at home is the best thing for getting used to using a condom. Those who do not have a penis themselves can use a courgette or banana old school stylee! Condoms are free and so I always suggest that young people get some and in the privacy of the bathroom or their bedroom, use the instructions in the packet and practice until they feel comfortable to be able to do it correctly and confidently.
As the saying goes, practice makes perfect!
I was not allowed to go anywhere except my school and was advised to be always in good company and read good books. I was not allowed to read the weekly magazines and all kinds of journals that came through. Brought up in a strict disciplined way, I used to move away from the circle of girls who sat talking about boys and their pranks.
Every one discussed someone they knew and admired their favorite film stars. At that time, I used to wonder, why do they get so excited to talk about those men and what do they get from that? The same thing continues now also with teenage boys and girls, and still, I wonder what is in that?
I had never seen a condom in my life and even don't know how it looked and how they wore it. When I was so innocent about condoms at that age, my friends used to talk about balloons made out of condoms. Once they talked about the boys blowing balloons out of condoms and flying it in the air like kites. They giggled so much; I did not understand what made them laugh so much.
After marriage, I stepped into a family of five boys, my husband being the eldest. I began to understand then only. One day while cleaning a drawer of a bureau, I found so many packets named "nirodh". I felt awkward opening and seeing what was inside and so threw everything along with the other waste paper and things. My husband never used a condom and felt delicate to use it. Once he used it, but then also, I was not daring enough to see what it looked like. As we were longing to have our first child soon, we then never thought about following precautions.
Days after the marriage of my husband's brother and the arrival of the co-sister changed things. Though younger than me, she knew everything and very much liked to talk about sex and using condoms. Very rudely I asked her to stop such type of talk with me and leave me alone. To make me feel irritated she would even ask me to see the used condoms, which were thrown into the waste paper basket, and make me feel more embarrassed.
Days went on and I forgot about condoms. But things were not the same when I decided to join an organization that worked in the area of prevention of HIV and AIDS. I was so shocked to see the literal use of condoms and how the people handled it with ease. But still, then, I never dared to open a packet of condoms and see how it looked. I kept myself aloof with my work and never got into such type of discussion and talk.
Things changed suddenly for me when I was asked to do a condom survey study. I felt lost and did not want to take up the work. I felt very delicate to talk about condoms and enquire people about their usage of condoms. I suffered in silence. Then I was asked to go through a Foundation Course in HIV and AIDS Counselling. During that course, one of the sessions was about the Condoms.
To come out of our feelings of awkwardness, games and other related exercises were given. That was the first time in my life; that I opened a packet of condoms and took it out to see how it looked. While other people in the batch were handling condoms freely, making out different shapes and articles with the condoms, I could not withstand the smell of the condoms.
The condoms were lubricated and oily. I had to wash my hands with soap before having my food. I felt my hands smelt badly even after washing thoroughly. While people were discussing different kinds of condoms with color and perfume coming into the market, I was struggling to come out of the feeling of awkwardness. It took more than a week for me to come out of that and understand there were things in life, which had to be tolerated and taken care of.
Is a Condom Demo Enough?
Holding up your newly ribbed and dotted covered condom demonstrator with pride mid education session to a room full of young people feels like a job well done, but is it enough?
Sex education can be embarrassing and overwhelming, and that's just for all the overworked teachers who are going to be expected to deliver it in the very near future, but what about the young people you are talking too?
In my experience delivering sex education, there will quite often be one or two students ballsy enough, (excuse the pun), to show off their condom skills to the rest of the class. 9 times out of 10 there will be mistakes. The rest of the class sit there trying to take it in without looking for too long at the condom demonstrator which quite often is a purple or blue and bringing up concerns of whether it's actual penis sized for them to actually be fully concentrating on the task in hand!
Time doesn't allow you to get every student to have a go at putting on a condom, so what's the next step?
My suggestion when taking a session is to always recommend that practice at home is the best thing for getting used to using a condom. Those who do not have a penis themselves can use a courgette or banana old school stylee! Condoms are free and so I always suggest that young people get some and in the privacy of the bathroom or their bedroom, use the instructions in the packet and practice until they feel comfortable to be able to do it correctly and confidently.
As the saying goes, practice makes perfect!